I Didn’t Do It

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4_H65XoykY

Cheating is an art, if you don't get caught, that is. Sadly, most people do get caught.

I understand that for some people, they need the ego boost for their lower than average self-esteem. What puzzles me is how they could be so arrogant to assume they won't get caught. Or do they also have lower than average IQ?

Their partners are probably just too wise to discover the game they are playing. Many women know their husbands are cheating on them, but they simply decide to turn a blind eye to it because they prefer having a cheating husband to having no husband at all. But sooner or later, the shit will hit the fan and nobody can pretend anymore. That’s when the real war begins.

So a clever man doesn’t cheat. He flirts. His motto is, “Get your appetite outside, but eat at home.” He never misses an opportunity checking out the babes in the pub (for the appetite), or talking to the hot chicks at the restaurant (for fanning the appetite), even when you are sitting right next to him.

He can hang out with his best friend who happens to be a gorgeous single girl, in fact, they text and talk to each other every day. But do not panic, they have known each other for years and although they do everything together, they have never actually hooked up (yet).

Oh but of course you have your pathetic suspicion. You can tell something is going on from the way they baby talk to each other, the shifty eyes when he talks about her, and the playful tone he reserves for her that is definitely not there when he talks to his mother.

But if you confront him, you will then most certainly be labeled insanely jealous. Honey, it's all just in your imagination, because look, they have never done the deed and they are not doing it now. There is no smoking gun, so to speak. So what can you do???

They are the true artists of cheating. It's emotional cheating.

Down With Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYE-gSTwB20

This is the second cold I caught in 2 months. The fist one was totally unavoidable. After talking with many sick students for weeks, I finally gave up the fight and joined everybody else in town. But the second one was rather unforgivable. I just didn’t wear warm enough clothes when I was out the other day. Well, the price I pay to look hot is this cold!

So now I am officially sick again. Following the same routine, I ran to the doctor, grabbed my antibiotics, and promptly announced it to anyone who cared to listen. And then I made myself a cup of steaming ginger tea with lots of honey, turned on the heater, carefully wrapped myself up with layers and layers of blankets, put a box of tissue right in front of me, dug out Strauss from the pile of CD grave, and now I am ready for some serious self-pity (although waltz made it quite difficult.)

The weather is even perfect for being sick, cold, gray and wet. A friend just informed us on FB that he’s sick too. And he thinks the best part of being sick is getting over it. Of course he is right, but look at the bright side, going down with a cold is definitely not as deadly as going down with love.

And it’s the only time we don’t need any excuse to spoil ourselves. Plus you can commiserate with your sick friends too, discussing your symptoms and updating your status with each other.

Hmmm, now since I am too sick to make myself some chicken soup, I shall go and get some from that soupstock place then. Uhhhhh, the apple pie from the bakery next door is very yummy too. What else? Oh yes, chocolate! Sick people can eat as much chocolate as we like and never put on weight, don’t you know?

Santa Baby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=fvwp&v=rXspgPH70BA

With Christmas coming, Tokyo is throbbing with lonely hearts. It’s a city with a mission now, to find someone to be with just in time for Christmas.

I am not kidding. There are suddenly lots of parties for singles because Christmas in Japan is for couples, not family. So now all the single people here are trying everything they can to get lucky for the big date on Christmas Eve, to pay an outrageous amount of yen for Christmas dinner, exchange expensive gifts, and stay at an over-priced hotel room for the romantic night.

One Japanese friend told me he used to hide in his darkened dormitory room on Christmas Eve, so that his mates thought he was out on a date. And now he is dreading the day his now teenage daughter has to stay home without a date, feeling ashamed and unloved like he did many years ago.

Traditionally, Japanese have this arranged marriage thing called "omiai", which is one on one, although both sets of parents, matchmakers and possibly other strangers also get to witness the beginning of their first date. But after about half an hour’s introduction of family history, the couple to-be-or-not-to-be is usually left alone to chat away about the weather or hobbies.

Japanese also have group omiai called "gokon", when a man and a woman bring 2 or 3 friends each and have dinner together, without any spectators. But omiai often produces no results. So many people join the dating clubs nowadays and conduct their hunting activity (konkatsu) there. But I heard they could be quite pricy, especially if you want to marry a doctor or lawyer.

But now with less than a month to go, many desperate single men have resorted to "nanpa", picking up girls randomly at pubs or on the street.

Oh well, it all depends on how much effort, time and money you are willing to invest on a romantic evening enjoying Tokyo’s dream-like Christmas illumination with someone you barely feel connected with.

For me, I will probably stay home again this year and watch an old movie alone. Or, on second thought, I could invite some friends over and party till dawn just for a change. And you? Wanna join us?

You Couldn’t Be Cuter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13AKsl7ZZoc

Tokyo Motor Show is on now. Many people, OK I mean men, are there this very moment to see the cars and the babes. But seriously, I can never understand this. Look, give me your yellow Ferrari, and I will be your mid-life crisis!

One thing most guys don’t know is sports cars have ceased to be babe-magnets long ago. When women spot them now, we think Viagra. And the only attention they actually attract is from fellow men going through the same crisis. Hmmmm, it would be a bit confusing, but I am sure everything will work itself out.

And to make it even more interesting, mid-life crisis is not only for men anymore. More and more women start to feel it too. While a man’s mid-life crisis is said to be all about recovering his lost youth, a woman’s seems to be discovering her greatness. Personally I believe it’s just an excuse for having fun.

Traditionally people at certain age have fun by having affairs. And thanks to the Internet, you don’t have to wait for 7 years to have the itch now. You can have your mid-life crisis anytime you like, although nowadays you probably can’t afford to pay the bill from your divorce lawyer, even after you sell your yellow Ferrari.

So unless you are a divorce lawyer yourself, I suppose it’s not exactly ideal to have an affair. Plus, it’s so clichéd! I think what we need to do is to plan our mid-life crisis carefully, and be ready when it hits us one day. Develop a new hobby like belly dance or God, go and climb Mount Fuji every weekend, or start writing that novel you always promise you will one day, whatever makes you tick.

Hey, I can’t wait for my mid-life crisis to come!

I Can’t Stop Talking About Him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP0SHq5bTrI

How do you know if he is "the one", or a one-night stand? When do you tell yourself, yes, that's the one? When you first meet him, when you finally lose him, or somewhere in between?

I never know now. In fact, if I even start asking myself if he is the one, I am certain I will never love again, because I would be too busy finding all the reasons why he is not. And the more perfect he seems, the busier I get. I think they call it self-defense mechanism.

Of course the opposite can happen too. Many people now ask the question, "What did I ever see in that piece of work? So if the one you once believed to be the love of your life could turn into a real bitch or bastard, how could you ever trust your own judgment now?

My theory is, hmmmm, you are right, I quite possibly have a theory on everything, but hey, do you want to hear it or not?

Ok, my theory is we can all have many "the ones" in our lives. The one we had a crush on when we were in high school, the one we fell head over heels with after we landed our first job, or the one we spent the best of our past 2 years with. Mistakes or not, they lit up our lives however short the journey we shared was, became part of us, and made who we are now. 

But since I don't really fancy another mistake, I think now what I am going to do is insisting on not dating anyone I instinctively know is definitely not “the one,” no matter how much he cries or begs.

And if I meet someone who is my last thought every night and my first every morning, someone I can’t stop talking about during the day, then I will know he is “the one.”

Play The Game

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_5O-nUiZ_0

I know it's men's instinct to hunt and women's duty to run. But I still have doubts.

“Treat them mean, keep them keen" is one of the golden rules in the book The Rules, although many mothers have been passing this ancient wisdom to their daughters, generations after generations.

Well, my mum did. She always says men don't cherish anything if it comes too easy. But apparently I have never learned. I still don't know how to play hard to get. Honestly, I totally suck at this game.

Anyway I don’t have to play hard to get, because I am naturally so. I trust people very easily, but I don’t give my heart away without struggle.

On the other hand, I also don't know how to chase a man. In fact, I've never chased any, although I might’ve encouraged some just to see what would happen next, but only when I really liked them of course.

Men chase, and women let them. I suppose that’s how it works. I am not sure what it would be like if you reversed the roles. A friend told me his wife is still complaining today that she had to be the one who popped the question 20 years ago. So does he now feel forever trapped and she never quite satisfied?

I don’t know. And I am also wondering if my mum is right, are there no men out there intelligent enough to cherish a woman who they might for whatever reason consider “easy to get”? Or do women really have to play the game?

Cry Baby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So9ukd-VKdk

I am forever attracted to strong men who are strong enough to face their own emotions head on and, cry. They can cry after they watch Marley& Me, or when they talk about their first love, whatever, I don’t mind at all. In fact, I’ll probably join in anyway, although I am afraid I will have to draw the line if they cry when their favorite porn star dies.

You see, I have this theory about men without tears. They have an inferiority complex so enormous that they have to try to appear tough all the time. So one day they simply can’t cry anymore, and that’s when a cheating husband or a serial killer is born.

Having said that, I can’t stand men who are always in tears either. I am not their mother for God’s sake. But it seems many modern men have discovered tears are their best weapon too and are not ashamed to use it, although aesthetically speaking, I believe women can pull it off better.

Really, how can you just sit there and watch teardrops rolling down from those big soft brown eyes of a beautiful woman, when she is clearly distraught and needs your hug?

So I am 100% for tears. And compared with men without tears, cry babies are much safer anyway. When a man tells me that he never cries, I would run as fast as I can, because if he can’t feel for himself, he won’t be able to feel for anyone else.

Let’s all cry together!