Drink Myself Single

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUsP8Xf_O8Y

I understand it's probably easier for girls because maybe, and I mean MAYBE, in the mysterious “men's world,” the leader of the pack should always drink the largest quantity of alcohol and sleep with the most beautiful woman if not with the largest number of women – not very different from "The Animal Kingdom" on Discovery channel I suppose.

Fortunately I’ve been blessed with a near-zero alcohol tolerance. So it comes natural for me to relax and enjoy myself without drinking a drop. Oh yes, I get high on a glass of ginger ale and some good company.

I know many people depend on alcohol for a good time. The world simply looks brighter when they have some beer in them - people are nicer, jokes are funnier, and they are nicer and funnier themselves too.

Having said that, I do enjoy a glass of wine with my food sometimes. I like the taste, but not the effect on me – I just laugh louder and then fall asleep. I don't really care if people see me drunk, since I have already seen most of them drunk anyway. But I also don't care what people think of me even when I am the only one not drinking at the party.

Japanese are very relaxed about drinking, among the other issues such as smoking and sex. Most people don’t drive here anyway, so drinking is usually not considered as a problem at all.

But then again if you live with your family and you can’t control the amount you drink – oh well, it depends. If you are a man, lucky you, you could go home drunk every day and your wife would most likely stay as long as you didn’t beat her. But oh no, if you are a woman, your husband will not wait around and see if you can sober up because let’s face it, who wants to go home to a drunk wife?

Of course it’s an entirely different story if you are single. Come to think of it, it’s great for the economy if you go out and drink every night. In fact, our society is in urgent need of single drunks.

So now if you are with me, raise your glass – kanpai!

http://www.holytaco.com/10-worst-types-drunks/

Pussycat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8_5V3lGV00

Knowing winks, glinting eyes, and naughty smiles – the reactions I often get when I talk about Thailand, Malaysia, Vietnam, the Philippines, etc. with my male Caucasian friends. It’s not a big secret why Caucasian men love to visit Southeastern Asia, usually alone or with their mates. They enjoy being Sex God during their vacation. Girls want them suddenly! They don’t have to make any effort. Girls seem to throw themselves at every white man they see.

Of course the men didn’t expect anything like that or plan for anything to happen. They only buy the flight tickets, get on the plane, and innocently plant themselves at the right place - nightclubs or some famous streets and at the right time.

And when “it” actually happens, ooooops, I just got lucky – they think. And naturally they ignore the phone numbers and email addresses those young girls left for them. Yes yes, they have all been warned by their mates about the gold-diggers in that part of Asia where the average monthly wage is probably not even enough for a square meal back at their comfortable home.

It’s a fair exchange, they get free sex and the girls also get something they are interested in – their body, if not their money. And for those less confident men, not to worry - they can always buy sex. Many girls are for sale, and the men just happen to have the money and are indeed holidaying in the country, so why not? Remember, they didn’t plan anything to happen! It just did!

And the best part is, they can just disappear after they have had enough, unlike having one-night-stands at home with those young Asian girls who want to immigrate.

So now they can all go home after the holiday with a clear conscience, boost egos, satisfied grins, and perhaps something they refuse to believe until the doctor confirms their suspicion.

Love Me Like My Dog

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhWz1UShvx0&feature=related

I’ve had men after my boobs, my legs, my feet, my eyes, my lips, my nose, and my ears - and occasionally, my heart. They usually left my brains alone. Too intimidating, they said. But nobody has ever loved me like my dog. I had a dog before. He loved everything about me. And I loved him unconditionally.

Well, I am definitely a dog person, so it’s extremely weird how come I am doing something for Japan Cat Network now – a NPO mainly helping cats. And what I am trying to accomplish is also quite unique here in Tokyo. In fact, I believe it might well be unprecedented.

I am, hmmm, doing the first angel auction in the history of Japan - probably. OK to be honest, at first I tried to plan a bachelor auction since I can’t misbehave anymore myself. But the Japanese were horrified with the idea. So I decided to rename it “ angel auction” because I am too polite to use the word “slave.”

Now everybody is happy and we have about 20 angels ready to be auctioned off. But in the meantime I’ve started thinking about what to auction next. The cats and dogs at the shelters perhaps?

You see, if we give everybody a pet, it will be a world full of love. Isn’t that just splendid?