Thursday, July 5, 2012

Love Me Like My Dog

I’ve had men after my boobs, my legs, my feet, my eyes, my lips, my nose, and my ears - and occasionally, my heart. They usually left my brains alone. Too intimidating, they said. But nobody has ever loved me like my dog. I had a dog before. He loved everything about me. And I loved him unconditionally.

Well, I am definitely a dog person, so it’s extremely weird how come I am doing something for Japan Cat Network now – a NPO mainly helping cats. And what I am trying to accomplish is also quite unique here in Tokyo. In fact, I believe it might well be unprecedented.

I am, hmmm, doing the first angel auction in the history of Japan - probably. OK to be honest, at first I tried to plan a bachelor auction since I can’t misbehave anymore myself. But the Japanese were horrified with the idea. So I decided to rename it “ angel auction” because I am too polite to use the word “slave.”

Now everybody is happy and we have about 20 angels ready to be auctioned off. But in the meantime I’ve started thinking about what to auction next. The cats and dogs at the shelters perhaps?

You see, if we give everybody a pet, it will be a world full of love. Isn’t that just splendid?


Tommy said...

I dig your brains...

professor usagi said...

thanks tommy! i will try my best to fetch a good price on you! :p