You Sexy Thing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIN36NweL6I&feature=related

Have you heard of a theory about love for sex and sex for love? It means men love in exchange of sex, while women have sex in order to be loved.

Of course it's cynical. But I have to admit it rings true with many men I have met. When they tell me they love me, they seem to think that they have also at the same time obtained the permission to my body. What they don't know is, I don't just jump into bed with all the men who have said those three magic words to me. It's not quite as simple as 'open sesame,' I assure you.

And when I ask them if sex is the only thing they can ever think of, I inevitably get this answer, "But you are too sexy!" Well sorry, it's not my problem, and I refuse to wear a burka just to make them feel safe with me.

Once a man told me I was lucky because I had the advantage of being sexy and I could choose whom to sleep with. I suppose his own self-perceived unattractiveness had driven him into capitalizing on every opportunity that presented herself, ooops, I mean itself. Hmmm, lucky lucky me - for having avoided being capitalized by him.

So now when I hear “I love you,” I often wonder if we have the same definition of love. And even if they do love me in their own ways, do I have to 'love" them back by sleeping with them?

I guess what I am trying to say is, girls, don’t be pressured into sex. Just say NO. If a man truly loves you, he will wait as long as it takes for you to feel ready. In the meantime, you can keep yourself for the man you choose to love one day and yes, all while being your sexy self.

And guys, if you don’t like girls teasing and flirting with you, please be brave and just say NO too!

Love, You’re Just A Laugh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uozcQK-zHwI

I just saw this on YouTube:

“Happiness can be elusive at times..i guess...lol”

But perhaps the only elusive thing here is wittiness, not happiness. I never understand why people add ”lol” at the end of their sentences. Is it just a nervous habit like clearing throat? Or is it just a way to say, "Look here, I have an excellent sense of humor too!" Or is it the self-depreciating charm they are so eager to show? See how humble I am! I can even laugh at my own expense.

If we laugh at our own jokes, does it make people want to join us? And why do we have to be funny anyway? People often describe themselves in their profiles as “with a good sense of humor.“ But I suspect these poor souls won’t be able to recognize humor even if it jumps up and bites them in the butt.

I’m not trying to say it’s bad or even wrong to say whatever you like. My blog is never about right or wrong. All I am doing is to provide an alternative perspective. And trust me, sometimes I don’t even believe in what I write. For example, when I implore Tokyo people to stop jumping rails and to find another way to die, do you really think I meant it?

And when my brainy friends blame me for not presenting the whole picture, I just tell them they’ve written too many research papers. Give me a break, why do I have to think for you? It’s a blog, not a textbook or a newspaper. And anyway, do you really think you can trust everything in a textbook or a newspaper? So no, please don’t feel that you have to agree with me. I will be more than happy if you disagree!

Now go ahead and add “lol” at the end of each sentence if you must. But just FYI, it can have the opposite effect to what you expect on some weird people like me, LOL!

Ready Or Not

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB5Jhgu261Q

Men and women fall in love very differently, but both with their heads -- although different kind of head.

I had this debate with one of my scientist friends earlier today about love or more precisely, the way we fall in love. He believes humans should just be human and follow our animal instinct to love. But I think we should carefully choose whom to love first.

Ask all women, and you will get the same answer. The worst nightmare a woman can have is to be in love with the wrong man. Of course it’s probably true for some men too, but women tend to give everything when they fall and they put their men on top priority.

Well at least that’s what happens to me when I fall in love. So I usually try to be cautious. I have to be able to picture the future with someone before I allow myself to open my heart and anything else for that matter.

If a man tells me he is in no rush to find someone special, then I know that he is not ready for a serious relationship and he just needs friends. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I like to have friends too. The more the merrier.

If a man says he just wants love, but no commitment. I wish him luck. I’m sure there are many girls who can love without any committeemen too. But not me.

If a man says he needs more than one girl to make him happy, then I know he has different values from me and will not stay monogamous. It wouldn’t be fair, because I only need one man to be happy.

If a man is crazy enough to fall for me, and loses his mind completely to the extent to propose or at least show his intent to build something for the future, well, I will then seriously consider our expectations and evaluate the possibility of forming the partnership. Together we can slowly figure out if we can learn to love each other the way we want to be loved.

Sorry, I’m too serious even for my own liking. But really, give me one good reason why I should fall in love with a man just for the “love” sake?

Be My Valentine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFqw8_T_mpE

It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow. I was thinking about having a singles’ party and inviting all my single friends over to make chocolate together. But in the end I decided to have all the chocolate to myself.

After slaving away in the kitchen for over 3 hours and trying to make sense of this new truffle recipe, blueberry milk chocolate coated with dark chocolate, now I still smell of chocolate. I don’t think I can stand the sight of chocolate for at least another month.

In Japan, we celebrate Valentine’s Day very differently from any other countries. Girls have to give chocolate to all the guys they know, including their male colleagues (giri-choco, which means “courtesy chocolate”) and their partners (honmei-choco, which means “true-feeling chocolate”). And then on White day, March 14th, guys will return the favor by giving something more expensive to the girls.

Japanese love all the western holidays, Christmas, Halloween, and of course Valentine’s. Now they not only embrace Valentine’s Day whole-heartedly, but they have also made it completely their own.

There is no surprise that White Day was cooked up by the Japanese confectionery industry. It was originally called Marshmallow Day, but then soon it became big and marshmallows were just not profitable enough. Thus white chocolate, white lingerie, white jewelry followed. Now all industries benefit from this beautiful day.

OK, business talk again. Honestly I’ve been wondering why we still don’t have Easter here in Japan. It’s such a no-brainer! Rabbits are cute and Japanese adore everything cute. And who can sell chocolate bunnies better than Professor Usagi?

Please contact me if you are interested in investing my (yet another) new business. Let’s start making some serious yen!

Hey Jealousy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah5gAkna3jI&ob=av3e

Jealousy is an ugly emotion. So I try to trust. But sometimes I feel many men are showing no respect towards their partners by openly flirting with me.

When I question their behavior, I am usually labeled as an uptight killjoy. So I just ask if it's ok when their partners flirt with other men. And of course they all say it's not cool.

Isn't that funny though? If a woman accuses her partner of flirting with other women, she is usually considered insanely jealous. But if it's the other around, we often feel sorry for the poor man. And when a girl cheats, she is s slut. But when a guy cheats, he is just being a man and there is nothing wrong about it.

A friend of mine often has business trips. He once told me that his trips were always only for 2-3 days, so he had no reason to cheat. I wonder what he thinks if his wife claims she’s got no reason to cheat because he is away for only a few days. Let’s just pray that he never has to be away too long.

How unfair can that be? Do we give men such freedom simply because of the biological differences? Or are there any social/cultural reasons behind? Why is the Scarlet Letter only for women? What has caused this double standard?

Girls, let's flirt back! Especially if you are in a relationship! And come to think of it, why don't we make the first move and initiate the flirting? We can always tell our boyfriends or husbands later, "Stop being so jealous for crying out loud. I was just having a little harmless fun!"

Seriously, flirting is healthy. If your partner doesn’t respect you and flirts with the pretty waitress, why can’t you smile up to the handsome waiter and sweetly ask his name? It’s going to be the most exciting meal you’ll ever have, I promise.

Let’s all follow our animal instinct and flirt away!

Happy Go Lucky Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOnQd8RkmXM

When a man tells me he is happy when he can make me happy, well, I am happy that he is happy even if all I do is just allowing him to make me happy. But of course I would like to find a man with whom I feel happy when I can make him happy too. (Note: no sexual innuendo is intended or inferred here!)

Many of my friends work hard to save money. They know money can't buy them happiness, but they believe they can have security and freedom one day when they have enough money. So they decide to live for tomorrow, but they forget to live now.

And let’s face it, there is never enough money. They all want more. One of my older and wiser friends told me that it takes a lot of courage to retire from all the financial comfort and delicious power. Without the money, they feel inferior. Without the job, they feel naked.

I am not saying it's wrong to save money, mind you. I was an accountant for heaven's sake. Accountants are cautious about money. But I'm happy with what I have. And I don't covet what I don't have.

When I look at my friends, almost all of them are unhappy about something. I often feel the negative energy they exude. Sometimes I try to help them, but often I have to give up after a while and leave them to enjoy their misery alone.

In the meantime, I shall just stay positive. It’s really not difficult to be happy. Just think about all the Valentine chocolate you can eat next week! 

No Car No House

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_G4S8Kws8o

“With warm sunshine on my face


I look at the young guys around me

Every one of them is so girly

Having a house and a car is what women long for



Marrying the right person is our biggest wish

I am going to ask if you have a car and if you have a house


My mother will also ask you how much savings you have

If you have no car, if you also have no house

Hurry move aside and don’t block my way

I have a car and also a house


As well as RMB in the bank

If you guys aren’t even as capable as me


Don’t depend on me. I’m not your mother

You don’t have a car, and you don’t have a house


Don’t expect to get a beautiful babe into bed

You don’t need to pretend being poor, you only drive a lousy BMW
 


And you don’t need to pretend you’re a rich guy who can keep me as a mistress

You don’t have a car, and you don’t have a house


Yet you still want to get married

But if you are not well off


Why should I accompany you in your struggle?

You say I am practical. I may as well admit


You can call me a gold-digger and I won’t feel hurt

A man after all should be like a man


Without a car, without a house, forget about finding a bride”

One of my friends, the editor of my blog in fact, sent me this Chinese song about gold-diggers. Contrary to the common belief, most men are more romantic than women even though men are not exactly good at expressing their romantic feelings. Women are usually more practical,

Granted, women like successful men. But the definitions of success vary. It’s probably true that most women judge success in terms of cars and houses. And maybe that’s what drives some men to accumulate wealth (in order to get laid).

However, my definition of success is very different. In my opinion, as long as he enjoys his work and believes in what he does, he is successful.

Unfortunately many men don’t have this confidence, so they either try to make more and more money if they are capable and hard-working, or become busy resenting the rich men and trying to sleep with their beautiful wives if they are incapable or simply too lazy to make money.

I am sick and tired of tiptoeing around those men’s ego. Rich or not, I only need one man who is confident, happy, and most of all, behaves like a man.

You Must Have Been A Beautiful Baby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-csibc6D34

I have many photographer friends. It sometimes makes me wonder if it’s an occupational hazard that they seem to have to sleep with everyone and everything. Or is it only this professional image they are compelled to maintain?

One of them likes to share the stories of his conquests with me. Perhaps he is just hoping I would finally come to my senses and realize what I have missed. However it only serves to further terrify me. Just imagine a walking encyclopedia of STDs!

So what makes a photographer seem irresistible to a girl? Surely it’s not the size of his camera or wallet. I know many people consider their job glamorous. But if you know what I know, well, let’s just say it’s not pretty at all.

Of course a girl feels flattered when a photographer approaches her and wants to take pictures of her. Not any other girls there, but just her. Ha, if only she knew how many girls before her had fallen into the same trap!

Wait, where are you going now? To the nearest shop to buy the biggest camera you can find??

I Just Called To Say I Love You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwOU3bnuU0k&ob=av2e

I know I am picky. What can I say? I just choose my man carefully. But I don't think I am high maintenance at all.

Okay, I know many of my disgruntled ex-suitors will disagree. Of course the worst type is a high-maintenance girl regarding herself as low-maintenance.

But honestly, maintenance starts when you own it!

Many guys probably don’t know this, but all you need to get into a woman’s heart is to build the connection with her. The thing is, women need to feel the connection with their men, while men are capable of disappearing for days.

So usually men think women are just too emotionally needy and fail to form the necessary attachment for women to feel secure enough to surrender their heart.

You see, men just don't have the need to express their longings and feelings, even if you are everything they can think of when they are not watching football. However, women wonder how football could be more important than a short text saying, 'I miss you!"

So girls, if you are lucky enough to find a man who texts you everyday to say good morning and good night. Grab him while you can. He has been properly trained.

And when you both feel ready, he can then whisper that in your ear in bed every morning and every night.

Fat Bottomed Girl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

I’m trying to blame my newly acquired few extra pounds on the winter. But the truth is, I’ve been to many excellent restaurants in Tokyo recently. I’m still too busy enjoying the good memories to start feeling remorse.

Japanese food culture is world famous. When you go to a restaurant in Tokyo, you expect to be fed professionally. The focus is on food and only food, especially at expensive restaurants.

So you see people tasting food and talking about food. But there are not many smiles around usually, not to mention loud laughter. It’s a bit like wine tasting sessions really. Japanese take their food very seriously.

Tokyo is for foodies and connoisseurs. But people seem to forget that food is not everything at the table. You also have your friend(s) with you!

I am a foodie too, but I also love a good conversation. If I have great company, I can appreciate the food even more. And I don’t mean just talking about the food, mind you.

When I host a party, I always make sure that everybody has someone to talk with. But when Japanese host a party, they make sure that everyone has something to eat.

I suppose it’s a tough decision. Everyone’s got only one mouth after all. To eat or to talk, that’s the question.

The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIJxvzjXK_Q

One of my American friends suggested that Japanese girls prefer Caucasian men because of their idea of western chivalry. So now I am wondering what has caused this illusion in Japan. Do we have to blame everything on Hollywood?

Another friend told me yesterday that she believed western men made better husbands. She is a single Japanese CPA in her early thirties. I just told her to wake up.

No disrespect to her father, but her belief is probably based on her observation of the older generation Japanese men. Or perhaps she has really watched too many Hollywood chick flicks in which the main male characters are usually depicted as devoted boyfriends or family men, hence the chick flicks – women’s fantasy.

Granted, Japanese men have their faults, but if Japanese in general have stronger family values, shouldn't that make Japanese men better husbands?

However, I am not surprised that Japanese women find Japanese men disappointing. Hey, it’s a worldwide dilemma women are facing now, not only in Japan. And I am sure men also feel unsatisfied with the women they manage to find around them.

Now let's talk business. If we’ve established that Japanese women prefer western men for whatever reasons, there must be a market for mail order grooms here in Japan. I’ve already got a partnership offer to set up this business of importing Caucasian husbands to Japan. Quality guaranteed. All inquiries and transactions are absolutely confidential.

I might just have to be the first customer of my new business after all. Then I can also proudly advertise, "I am not only the president, I am also a client."