Friday, October 14, 2011

Tonight The Bottle Let Me Down

I know, I know, it’s a serious problem and all. You don’t have to drink like a fish yourself to know that. But it’s true it’s medicinal sometimes, especially for someone who can’t really drink anyway.

Well, me, I mean.

I can get tipsy just sniffing wine, and several sips of cosmo will knock me flat. It’s now become well known among my friends what to do when they are in need of some free entertainment. They get me drunk!

But I can turn from a happy drunk to a sleepy drunk very quickly, and then it’s not fun anymore, because I will have to lie down until I sober up. And I become as red as a lobster. Have you seen a sleeping lobster? That’s me when I am totally plastered.

Many people envy my ability to get drunk so easily, men especially appreciate this because I am such a cheap date. And of course they think it’s their cue to misbehave.

That’s why I usually don’t drink when I am out, unless I am with friends. I prefer getting drunk at home where nobody can see the sleepy lobster, although I know many people have this rule not to drink alone.

Perhaps it’s a wise rule since most people can get addicted. But not me, no. I am proud to say my body is built with almost zero tolerance against alcohol and hence I will never get myself addicted.

And if I have trouble sleeping, well, the bottle never lets me down!

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