Have you heard of a theory about love for sex and
sex for love? It means men love in exchange of sex, while women have sex in
order to be loved.
Of course it's cynical. But I have to admit it
rings true with many men I have met. When they tell me they love me, they seem
to think that they have also at the same time obtained the permission to my
body. What they don't know is, I don't just jump into bed with all the men who
have said those three magic words to me. It's not quite as simple as 'open
sesame,' I assure you.
And when I ask them if sex is the only thing they
can ever think of, I inevitably get this answer, "But you are too
sexy!" Well sorry, it's not my problem, and I refuse to wear a burka just
to make them feel safe with me.
Once a man told me I was lucky because I had the
advantage of being sexy and I could choose whom to sleep with. I suppose his
own self-perceived unattractiveness had driven him into capitalizing on every
opportunity that presented herself, ooops, I mean itself. Hmmm, lucky lucky me - for having avoided being capitalized by him.
So now when I hear “I love you,” I often wonder if we
have the same definition of love. And even if they do love me in their own
ways, do I have to 'love" them back by sleeping with them?
I guess what I am trying to say is, girls, don’t be
pressured into sex. Just say NO. If a man truly loves you, he will wait as long
as it takes for you to feel ready. In the meantime, you can keep yourself for
the man you choose to love one day and yes, all while being your sexy self.
And guys, if you don’t like girls teasing and
flirting with you, please be brave and just say NO too!
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