Sunday, December 18, 2011

Flirting With Disaster

Of course I know I could be frightfully outspoken sometimes. Even I am scared of myself. I can never predict what I will say next.

When I have an interview, I always make the poor interviewer nervous, although I am never quite sure which he finds more distracting, my sharp tongue or my shapely legs.

Once my lunch date asked me annoyingly, “Don’t you know I am well-respected in my business here?”  Hmmmm, let me think, well, no sir, I don’t, and I am not doing any business with you anyway.

I have met my fair share of alpha males, and they all demand to be treated with special care. But honestly, is it not enough to be the prime madonna in the office? Would they say to their partners, “Honey, make love to me with respect, and stop teasing me about my thinning hair. I am a very important businessman, you know?”

If by whatever chance, I happen to be standing right next to the Emperor at a party, I would probably make him either laugh out loud with mirth or scream for the guards in 3 minutes. And I never know which will be the case. So you see, I’ve got a very good reason to be fearful for my fearless tongue.

But believe me, I am actually making an effort to be good. So next time when you read one of my highly inappropriate remarks, politically incorrect jokes or religiously offensive comments, please remember I have officially announced my disclaimer here now.

Sorry, have I said something wrong now? I do apologize!

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