Friday, August 26, 2011

Starting Over

Compare with my second marriage though, my disastrous first marriage was a fairy tale. My second husband cheated on me half of the time we were together

I’ve passed the stages feeling shocked, humiliated, ashamed, self-pity, angry, suicidal, bitter, hatred and all that. Now I just want to be myself, and try to be happy without hurting anyone.

It was laughable when a friend of mine suggested the problem with me is giving up too fast, when I was with my first husband for 7 years, and the second for 12 years!

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. Many of my girlfriends are single, and very happy. They believe they don’t need any men in their lives and most men are weak, selfish and unreliable anyway.

I asked them if they were afraid of dying alone one day in their old age. And their answer was, everyone dies alone one day, sooner or later and one way or another.

Of course they are right about that, but before we die, doesn’t it make more sense if we can share our lives meaningfully with someone we love? Or is it just another ambitious dream of mine?

I am such a dreamer, I know!!!

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