Sunday, November 27, 2011

Just Friends

I just watched “When Harry Met Sally” for the nth time, and the whole debate of “can men and women be friends” still gets to me. It’s probably purely biological, but somehow it’s easier for women to resist ripping off their male friends’ clothes. So I suppose my answer is yes, most women can be friends with men. At least I can.

OK but what if he resembles George Clooney? Hmmmm, tough one here. Fine, I might get distracted at the beginning, but I am sure I can still keep my hands firmly to myself (until told otherwise.)

How about guys then? In the movie, Harry said men can only be friends with unattractive women. And if that’s true, I am not even sure if I want to be considered just a friend by any men now. But really, what’s on a man’s mind when he is with this “ female friend” who happens to be very hot and also very single?  Well I actually asked some of my male friends. Here is what I found out:

One of them told me he just got used to her looks and all the sexual tension between them, if ever existed at all (he was lying about the "at all" part, I am positive), was gone years ago. So now they are “just friends.”

Another friend told me there is this line between friends and girlfriends. He can flirt all he likes, but once he crosses the line and finds himself in bed with her, that’s it, they can never be friends anymore.

But I remember this older friend who told me many of his females friends are actually his ex-girlfriends, although I also know he enjoys dwelling on the past and as a result, suffers from chronic depression.

So now I’m all confused. What’s the definition of friendship anyway? If you are not doing it, are you then “just friends” by default? I don’t know the answer to that. But one thing I am sure, if you have to talk to someone for hours every day, yes, I mean every day, you are more than “just friends,” even if you are not in the same continent.

In fact, that’s what I always want from my dream man. That level of attachment and the need to stay connected. You are not afraid to depend on each other emotionally, because you know you will always be there for each other. You have the commitment no marriage vows can compete with.

If I ever find someone like that, I will be his forever. Friend, just friend, friend with benefit, girlfriend, wife, partner, whatever you call it!

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